The year was 2014 : Dark lipstick was “in” again.  “How I Met Your Mother” disappointed millions with an ending more annoying than the show itself.  Lorde assured us that we’d never be Roooyyyaaallllss.  And according to recently unearthed flight records by the White House Department of Transportation, former Vice President Joe Biden’s son Hunter took the liberty of “borrowing” Air Force One, the Presidential plane, 26 times.

In contrast, Mike Pence has used the gloryhole at the “Stinky Pinky Roller Rink-y” 38 times since Christmas.

According to Joe Barron, Chief of Tattling, paperwork from 2014 shows the aircraft being signed out by the pilots, secret service detail, and the younger Biden with destinations to Atlantic City, New Jersey, Rio De Janero, and Chuck E. Cheese in Akron Ohio, for a few examples.  When questioned, several crewmembers also reported that Biden often returned with anywhere from four to fifteen guests, usually dressed in “clubbing” clothing and awash in various varieties of liquor.

One report by a secret service agent identified only as “Batt” related a chilling example of Hunter’s abuse of privilege by nepotism :

“On March 17th, Biden ordered the pilot to land in Dublin, Ireland, with full diplomatic detail and a personal escort.  From the airstrip, he demanded a private limousine to travel to several pubs, one by one, to experience what he referred to as ‘The Saint Paddy Laddie Boombaladdie Crawl,’ and returned several hours later to the vehicle with a half-dozen unknown civilian females, a soccer team, and half a keg of Guinness ale.  He, and several of his guests later vomited in the onboard lavatory, the Ronald Reagan Memorial Airpisser.”

Although an investigation into the matter has only just begun, estimates of the expense of these trips to taxpayers have run into the area of seven to nine hundred million dollars.  Biden has denied making use of the Presidential aircraft for his own entertainment and claims that agents within the Trump administration are simply inventing yet another conspiracy theory out of jealousy that they have nothing on him or his father that has any evidence whatsoever.  Only time will tell if his chickens will ever come home to roost.

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